Victor or Victim?

Time for a little philosophy on life and I warned you that I can get very opinionated!

We are the sum total of our live's experiences, right? Or are we the sum total of our attitude towards those experiences?

I had an interesting phone conversation with niece Jean the other night and some of the things we talked about got me to thinking. We were talking about blaming present situations on something that happened in our past--like saying I am the way I am because my mother did not love me, or my father was never home, or the kids at school made fun of me, yadayadayada. You know the scenario. (BTW, these things did not happen to me) So many people play the blame game, blaming everybody from parents to teachers to friends, etc.

Granted, some people are victims. If you are paralyzed because of an accident in which you were hit by a drunk driver, you are a victim. There are lots of other legitimate reasons for being the way you are.

But, as Jean pointed out to me, I have had some trauma in my life's experiences that I could use to blame things on. To my surprise, I began to think about those things and realize that my attitude toward them is not a victim attitude.

I have written that I found my father dead when I was 17 years old. Very, very traumatic. But somewhere along the line I got to the point that I realize that that experience is part of what makes me who I am, and I don't mean in a negative sense. Having had that experience makes me have a greater compassion for someone else who goes through the experience of losing a loved one from their daily life.

I also was the one who went into the nursing home and found my mother in a coma from which she never awoke. She died 3 1/2 days later. I spent time with my brother Ben in his last week of life and was there when he breathed his last. When our beloved Aunt Bertha died so tragically in Mississippi, it was Glenn and me who arranged for her second funeral here in Pennsylvania. In the few days between her death and funeral, Ken lost his job of 25 years.

Trauma? Yes. I know others have faced much worse in their lives. But we all have had experiences that have been rough and we got through them with God's help and other's help. We learned a lot, and carry that knowledge with us wherever we go. We are victors because we have been able to move forward. Victims just stay in a rut and commiserate.

I have a favorite poem about weaving. Roger Smith quoted this at Quakertown convention a long time ago, and ended up posting a copy of it on a tree there! I have also seen the poem on a brochure for a weaving place that I used to go to for some supplies in Smicksburg, PA. I am typing it from memory, and hopefully have it close.

My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me.
I cannot tell the colors
That He worketh steadily.

Sometimes He worketh sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper,
And I, the under side.

Not til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will the Lord unroll the pattern
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads were as needful
In the weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

This poem helps me to understand that all these things are just part of our life's experineces, and work beautiful things into the pattern of our lives.

So, what is your philosophy on your life's experiences?