2001 was an eventful year in our lives. My oldest brother, Ben, died from complications of cancer surgery on Jan. 19. In May, our oldest son, Roy, came home with burnout from his almost ten years of preaching the Gospel. I could write a lot about both those experiences, but we all know that the events of September 11 shook the whole world.
I was actually prepping for a colonoscopy on that fateful day--a liquid diet, then at 4 PM I was to begin drinking the clean-out stuff. Since my brother Ben had had colon cancer, it seemed like a good idea for me to be checked to see if my colon was in good shape.
So, Tuesday, as usual, I made a trip to Reynoldsville to sell my rugs at the farmer's market. Two of our workers, Cindy Peter and Karen Richardson, were at Doretha Murray's and I had something to give to them--mail, I think. I left home earlier than usual and stopped there to give them whatever it was. Donna Crawford and I had just come back from convention at Madisonville, KY, and I had a picture of the workers there. I was showing it to Cindy and Karen when Doretha's phone rang. Her niece, Rhonda DeBlasio, was calling to tell her that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. A few minutes later, she called with the news that a second plane had hit the other tower. Yikes! What was happening anyways?
Well, I moseyed down in to town for the farmer's market where we were all nervously setting up our goods. I remember looking up often, and wondering about things flying over. The man set up next to me had his radio going in his car, and I listened with him some. There were more reports of planes, but the information at that time was rather sketchy.
Business was certainly poor. Before long, the streets were clear of people. I expect most were glued to a televisions somewhere. I remember a man walking up the street with a Bible in his hand. He was a preacher and was inviting people to a prayer service that afternoon in his church.
I decided to go home early. Others were, too.
At four o'clock I began my prepartation for the colonoscopy, wondering if this was really necessary since I really wondered if we would be blown off the map by morning! President Bush had cleared the skies of all air traffic, and it seemed almost surreal to look up and think that the sky was empty of planes.
The next day I had my test at the hospital. For the first time, I saw on the television what so many people saw repeatedly--the planes going into the towers. We had survived another day...
Saturday morning after that was another farmer's market in DuBois. That day I had some red, white, and blue woven trim that I made into little bows, put a pin in it, and gave them out to people. I did not charge for them, but many people wanted to pay me a dollar anyways...
So, how did it change me? For a good while I felt that life as I had known it was surely over and that war would just break out everywhere. I believe that the fact that our country has held together since that day is because God's purpose for this old world has yet to be accomplished. He is ever merciful to give us the time we need to get to know Him better.
I think that it changed the way people in our society relate to those we love--we are more communicative about our love. Cell phones have come into common use, and we often overhear people saying "I love you" or "Love you, bye". We realized that life could be snatched from us at any time.
Whether the lessons learned from September 11 have continued to this day is debatable, but it certainly affected our society.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
We Did it Again!
Well, we did it again. After Freedom convention, our cup was running over, but we went to Newry two weeks later for more of the same! On Saturday evening at Newry, I was wondering if I really could take any more in, but Sunday was another day of very helpful meetings! Convention is such a rich experience, and I came home with a great desire to spend more time reading the Bible. After having eight days total of convention meetings, the Bible is more open and understandable than ever before. As I read I find myself asking, "How do I do that, Lord?" and little by little, He begins to show me.
And now it is back to ordinary life, lived with a purpose renewed. Ken's job of eleven years is getting increasingly unstable--they got new management there about a month ago, and are replacing somebody every week or so. We wonder what Ken's future is there, but do not worry much about it. Whatever will be, will be. Ken turns 62 on Sept. 18, and has thoughts of retiring next spring.
Now that conventions are over, and summer is drawing to a close, I am more open to the idea of a part-time job. Some weeks ago, I applied at a flower shop in DuBois, but did not hear from them. Last week, I applied at Joann Fabrics in DuBois. I would really like to work there! Perhaps it is a dangerous place for this fabricholic to work??!!?? DH says that maybe I would get tired of fabric--like people getting tired of doughnuts when they work in a doughnut shop! We shall see what opens up for me. I also continue to volunteer Friday mornings at Hahne Cancer Center, and keep my eyes open for opportunities there.
My little garden did fairly well, and DID NOT BLIGHT! After last year's disappointment, I anxiously watched it this year. I did not spray for it because I don't really like to put poison on my garden. I planted most of the garden plot in buckwheat, which grew very well. When it went to seed in July, we cut it down and tilled (or tried to till!) it under. It reseeded itself nicely, and we got another stand of it. Since convention, Ken has mowed it, and I intend to till it one day soon. I have beautiful tomatoes on my four Big Boy plants, and lots of cherry tomatoes on the other two plants.
Ken's mother, Martha Grady, turned 96 on August 29. We had an open house birthday party for her that Sunday afternoon over at Jane's. It was lots of fun! She is such an amazing woman. Nobody in her family that we know of has ever lived this long.
The Labor Day picnic at Cook Forest was great fun. Brian Hildebrand and Jim Eaker and some of their family usually go out early to reserve the spot. They cook breakfast there. We decided we were ready for the adventure, too, so we left here at 7:15 and got there about 8. It was COLD, in the 40's! I took some freshly baked cinnamon rolls, and we had blueberry pancakes, ham, sausage, bacon, and eggs. Around 9, Ken and I decided to take a bike ride up the river road, and Brian, Rachel and Jenny came with us. We did a little over 5 miles, round trip. Traffic was light on the road that early.
Pretty soon, in came son Todd and Otto Herr. They are trained bicyclers, and had ridden from Brockway and DuBois to come. Their ride was about 30 to 40 miles.
We had a delightful day of fellowship, food, and fun! Some of us just didn't seem to want to leave, and stood around and talked on our way to our vehicles!!
Now what? Labor Day is past, too. I have determined that I am going to do lots of sewing, unless I get a job. I have lots of fabric and ideas. I have dreams of getting a Handiquilter 16 quilting machine but the over $6000 price tag is holding me back. I have leftover "rug money" for part of it, but kinda hate to beg the money from our joint funds with Ken's job being uncertain. In the meantime, I plan to make some more quilts in readiness for owning one. We have also been watching Craiglist and Ebay, so perhaps I can get a gently used one.
Ken also watches Craiglist and Autotrader for Mustangs! Our dream is to have another one. He had one when we were courting and we honeymooned in it and brought home baby Roy from the hospital. It turned into a rust bucket, so we traded it on another car that was totally without distinction! So, his retirement dream is to get another one, but I guess it will be a third vehicle for us, because they are rear wheel drive and not much good in the wintertime.
And now it is back to ordinary life, lived with a purpose renewed. Ken's job of eleven years is getting increasingly unstable--they got new management there about a month ago, and are replacing somebody every week or so. We wonder what Ken's future is there, but do not worry much about it. Whatever will be, will be. Ken turns 62 on Sept. 18, and has thoughts of retiring next spring.
Now that conventions are over, and summer is drawing to a close, I am more open to the idea of a part-time job. Some weeks ago, I applied at a flower shop in DuBois, but did not hear from them. Last week, I applied at Joann Fabrics in DuBois. I would really like to work there! Perhaps it is a dangerous place for this fabricholic to work??!!?? DH says that maybe I would get tired of fabric--like people getting tired of doughnuts when they work in a doughnut shop! We shall see what opens up for me. I also continue to volunteer Friday mornings at Hahne Cancer Center, and keep my eyes open for opportunities there.
My little garden did fairly well, and DID NOT BLIGHT! After last year's disappointment, I anxiously watched it this year. I did not spray for it because I don't really like to put poison on my garden. I planted most of the garden plot in buckwheat, which grew very well. When it went to seed in July, we cut it down and tilled (or tried to till!) it under. It reseeded itself nicely, and we got another stand of it. Since convention, Ken has mowed it, and I intend to till it one day soon. I have beautiful tomatoes on my four Big Boy plants, and lots of cherry tomatoes on the other two plants.
Ken's mother, Martha Grady, turned 96 on August 29. We had an open house birthday party for her that Sunday afternoon over at Jane's. It was lots of fun! She is such an amazing woman. Nobody in her family that we know of has ever lived this long.
The Labor Day picnic at Cook Forest was great fun. Brian Hildebrand and Jim Eaker and some of their family usually go out early to reserve the spot. They cook breakfast there. We decided we were ready for the adventure, too, so we left here at 7:15 and got there about 8. It was COLD, in the 40's! I took some freshly baked cinnamon rolls, and we had blueberry pancakes, ham, sausage, bacon, and eggs. Around 9, Ken and I decided to take a bike ride up the river road, and Brian, Rachel and Jenny came with us. We did a little over 5 miles, round trip. Traffic was light on the road that early.
Pretty soon, in came son Todd and Otto Herr. They are trained bicyclers, and had ridden from Brockway and DuBois to come. Their ride was about 30 to 40 miles.
We had a delightful day of fellowship, food, and fun! Some of us just didn't seem to want to leave, and stood around and talked on our way to our vehicles!!
Now what? Labor Day is past, too. I have determined that I am going to do lots of sewing, unless I get a job. I have lots of fabric and ideas. I have dreams of getting a Handiquilter 16 quilting machine but the over $6000 price tag is holding me back. I have leftover "rug money" for part of it, but kinda hate to beg the money from our joint funds with Ken's job being uncertain. In the meantime, I plan to make some more quilts in readiness for owning one. We have also been watching Craiglist and Ebay, so perhaps I can get a gently used one.
Ken also watches Craiglist and Autotrader for Mustangs! Our dream is to have another one. He had one when we were courting and we honeymooned in it and brought home baby Roy from the hospital. It turned into a rust bucket, so we traded it on another car that was totally without distinction! So, his retirement dream is to get another one, but I guess it will be a third vehicle for us, because they are rear wheel drive and not much good in the wintertime.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A Laugh at Myself
I really have been out of touch with my own blog!! Yesterday after I posted about convention, I was reading some of my prior posts and discovered I had written a similar analogy last year about convention! So, I chuckled at myself, hung my head in embarrassment lest someone reading would remember, but then, oh, well, repitition helps us learn anyways!!
Today's agenda is to mix up cookie dough and freeze it. I will bake them next week for Newry. It seems really muggy hot this morning, but I had better get off the computer and get started!!
Today's agenda is to mix up cookie dough and freeze it. I will bake them next week for Newry. It seems really muggy hot this morning, but I had better get off the computer and get started!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Ah, Convention--Before, During, and After
A dear friend told me at convention that she missed my blog, so I decided I needed to put some effort into posting to try to lend some cheer and encouragement to others!
We have just returned from a rich four days at Freedom convention and look forward to going to Newry, too. So, what is convention like? What does it do for us? How is it that we are drawn there, year after year?
Days spent at convention are the very best days of the year for me/us. After I turned 50 I figured out one day that I have probably spent a year of my life in convention meetings. It was a very comforting, cheerful thought to me!!
You may chuckle some at my analogies of what convention is like, but if convention has been your experience you will probably nod your head, too!
One of the things I enjoy doing in my kitchen is mixing up a batch of buns--some have called them the Grady buns, made famous in the family by Martha and Jane before I even married into the family. The recipe calls for about 15 cups of flour, and that is the last thing you stir into the ingredients. You stir and stir, and then you get to the point where you put flour on a clean counter, and dump the dough on top of it. It is a sticky, gooey mess. You add some flour on top of it. You put your hands into it, and they get sticky, gooey, and messy. You begin to knead and after a bit, you get into a rythym of it, and the dough gets nicer and nicer. Soon it is no longer sticky, but smooth and a joy to knead. Then you plop that beautiful dough into a greased bowl to rise.
Convention is like that process to me. It doesn't seem to matter whether the year preceeding convention has been fairly smooth or if it has been a rough one--when it comes to convention time, I feel like that ooey-gooey sticky mess, dumped out and ready for God to work on. And, meeting by meeting, things come together with lots of comfort and fresh hope. God's hand has been good upon us and we are glad for his hand working on us to get our priorities lined up again.
Going to convention is like going to a huge grocery store. God's provision for us is far grander than we can ever anticipate or imagine. We know the wisdom of beginning with an empty cart, and strive to go emptied of self. We begin to push our cart in the store, and God loads it up for us. "You need this, Alma. Better get some more of this, I think you are running out at home." And on and on we go through the store.
Meeting by meeting, our cart is filling up. By the time the four days are coming to a close, the cart is filled to the point where we wonder whether it can possibly hold anything more. Still, God piles more on. With great effort, we push the cart to the door (there are no check-outs at convention, it has all been bought and paid for), load it up and make the journey home.
Our cart is so full, we can hardly remember what is in it. But as we get home, we unload it and examine those things more closely and read the Bible verses that meant so much to us when we were at convention. We sort out our treasures. It comforts us to have those things now in our possesion where we can make such good use of them.
And, once again, we rejoice because we have had the experience written about in Luke 24:32 "Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?"
We have just returned from a rich four days at Freedom convention and look forward to going to Newry, too. So, what is convention like? What does it do for us? How is it that we are drawn there, year after year?
Days spent at convention are the very best days of the year for me/us. After I turned 50 I figured out one day that I have probably spent a year of my life in convention meetings. It was a very comforting, cheerful thought to me!!
You may chuckle some at my analogies of what convention is like, but if convention has been your experience you will probably nod your head, too!
One of the things I enjoy doing in my kitchen is mixing up a batch of buns--some have called them the Grady buns, made famous in the family by Martha and Jane before I even married into the family. The recipe calls for about 15 cups of flour, and that is the last thing you stir into the ingredients. You stir and stir, and then you get to the point where you put flour on a clean counter, and dump the dough on top of it. It is a sticky, gooey mess. You add some flour on top of it. You put your hands into it, and they get sticky, gooey, and messy. You begin to knead and after a bit, you get into a rythym of it, and the dough gets nicer and nicer. Soon it is no longer sticky, but smooth and a joy to knead. Then you plop that beautiful dough into a greased bowl to rise.
Convention is like that process to me. It doesn't seem to matter whether the year preceeding convention has been fairly smooth or if it has been a rough one--when it comes to convention time, I feel like that ooey-gooey sticky mess, dumped out and ready for God to work on. And, meeting by meeting, things come together with lots of comfort and fresh hope. God's hand has been good upon us and we are glad for his hand working on us to get our priorities lined up again.
Going to convention is like going to a huge grocery store. God's provision for us is far grander than we can ever anticipate or imagine. We know the wisdom of beginning with an empty cart, and strive to go emptied of self. We begin to push our cart in the store, and God loads it up for us. "You need this, Alma. Better get some more of this, I think you are running out at home." And on and on we go through the store.
Meeting by meeting, our cart is filling up. By the time the four days are coming to a close, the cart is filled to the point where we wonder whether it can possibly hold anything more. Still, God piles more on. With great effort, we push the cart to the door (there are no check-outs at convention, it has all been bought and paid for), load it up and make the journey home.
Our cart is so full, we can hardly remember what is in it. But as we get home, we unload it and examine those things more closely and read the Bible verses that meant so much to us when we were at convention. We sort out our treasures. It comforts us to have those things now in our possesion where we can make such good use of them.
And, once again, we rejoice because we have had the experience written about in Luke 24:32 "Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?"
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas Memories
It's Sunday night, December 27, and Ken and I are "veging" at home, as we like to call it after a busy couple of days.
We went to Todd and Sue's for Christmas Eve with her family and had snacky type food and exchanged some gifts. We came back home about 6:30, and Ross was here. Leigh, Jill and the kids and Pixie, their new puppy, came about 7 or so, and the kids and I started to make cookies...and make cookies...and make cookies. Even I was a little mortified at what a big pile of cookies we had!
Roy and DeAnn came around 9:30 and watched us bake more cookies!
Ah, if it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done. DeAnn and I gabbed til about 12:30, and then I went back into our bedroom and finished sewing up the sweater and hat that I made for Shane! Crazy, huh? But it was rather pleasant doing it and watching the fire in our new electric fireplace. I felt a little like Ma Ingalls, working on things after her children went to bed!
The next morning, I put the cinnamon rolls and cinnamon diamonds in the oven, and we began our day with sweets! The turkey also spent an hour in the oven, then into the big electric roaster.
After Todd and Sue and kiddoes arrived, and Grandma Grady (Ken's mother), we opened gifts. What fun! The boys seemed to appreciate getting Yaktraks, some special gizzies to put on the bottoms of your shoes or boots to help you stand up on ice. Ken had appreciated them a couple weeks ago when we had a Sunday ice storm, and we decided our boys needed them.
And then, turkey dinner. I had an abundance of kitchen help which I really appreciated, before and after! We at promptly at one (am I good or what?). The only thing we didn't have was pie!
In the afternoon, I asked our four kids to pose for a family picture. Perhaps I will post them here if it works OK.
After a while, the Lindbergs and the Trotters came out. Originally we had hoped that the kids could go sled-riding, but the weather was rainy/icky, so everybody just played inside--music, games, etc. And ATE! I didn't cook supper, but just let everybody pick.
Ross left in the evening since he had to be to work at Bonton before dawn.
Friday evening, Heidi, Kirsten and I got into our jammies and watched the dvd Pollyanna, a heart-warming story about a little girl in 1912.
Saturday, Roy and DeAnn left to go to her folks for dinner. After a late lunch of chili and cornbread, the Purcells left, and Ken and I were alone to R&R and clean up the place for meeting this morning!
We had some of the Brookville folks with us for meeting this morning since Joan Hannah was in Virginia. We had nine with us for dinner--leftovers and Spanish rice.
I will be packing cookies for the freezer!
Ken is off until Jan. 4, so we are thinking of some day trips this week. I also hope to start work at H&R Block on Jan. 4, although it hasn't been confirmed yet. Maybe tomorrow I will find out for sure what they are planning for me.
And so ends the Christmas holiday for us. Time to be moving on!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I Love Thanksgiving!
Abraham Lincoln, in 1863, invited his countrymen to set aside the fourth Thursday in November for thanksgiving. His proclamation is very interesting. Read it here: http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/thanks.htm
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I would like to tell you why!!
November and March are probably my least favorite months of the year. The weather is usual very dismal and they are months of transition as far as the seasons go. During those two months I usually have the feeling of "Let's get on with it!" In November we know we are heading for winter and snow, but the weather is certainly gray and uncheerful.
Then, along comes Thanksgiving, and it is such a cheerful holiday!! Unless you work in retail, you usually have Thursday and Friday both off from work or school. It's a great time to travel to be with your family.
I love roasted turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and flavorful turkey gravy!! It makes my mouth water to write about it, even! A fresh, hot biscuit from the oven is really special, too.I enjoy pumpkin pie and other pies that make their appearance that day, too. Sweet potatoes are an OK dish and I accept them as part of Thanksgiving dinner, but don't need seconds. I pass on the cranberry sauce and leave that for those who enjoy it.
Since the dismal weather usually keeps families indoors, it is a time of togetherness, playing a game, etc.
Thanksgiving, as compared to Christmas, is what I call a "pure" holiday. A spirit of thankfulness is always pleasant. I don't feel that the Thanksgiving holiday is over-commercialized, either. People buy extra food to celebrate with their families, but it is not characterized by greed.
Christmas, now, is a different story. I have every reason to appreciate the Christmas story of Jesus being born into the world and enjoy many of the Christmas carols (Oh Little Town of Bethlehem and O, Holy Night are my two favorites). I do not believe that Jesus was born on December 25 because we do not know that.
Beyond that, though, the holiday gets very mixed up and twisted around. Greed takes over, and the commercialism of the season gets very pathetic. Santa Claus is a very cheerful fellow, but he has little to do with the birth of Jesus, he just happens to be mixed up with the same time of year. Giving gifts is a pleasant thing, but many people do it because they feel they "have to" and may overuse their credit cards. Not so good! And, things get taken to excess. Parties, parties, and more parties. Lots of money gets spent for decorations.
Yes, I feel that Thanksgiving is a pure holiday. I intend to enjoy it to the fullest!
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I would like to tell you why!!
November and March are probably my least favorite months of the year. The weather is usual very dismal and they are months of transition as far as the seasons go. During those two months I usually have the feeling of "Let's get on with it!" In November we know we are heading for winter and snow, but the weather is certainly gray and uncheerful.
Then, along comes Thanksgiving, and it is such a cheerful holiday!! Unless you work in retail, you usually have Thursday and Friday both off from work or school. It's a great time to travel to be with your family.
I love roasted turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and flavorful turkey gravy!! It makes my mouth water to write about it, even! A fresh, hot biscuit from the oven is really special, too.I enjoy pumpkin pie and other pies that make their appearance that day, too. Sweet potatoes are an OK dish and I accept them as part of Thanksgiving dinner, but don't need seconds. I pass on the cranberry sauce and leave that for those who enjoy it.
Since the dismal weather usually keeps families indoors, it is a time of togetherness, playing a game, etc.
Thanksgiving, as compared to Christmas, is what I call a "pure" holiday. A spirit of thankfulness is always pleasant. I don't feel that the Thanksgiving holiday is over-commercialized, either. People buy extra food to celebrate with their families, but it is not characterized by greed.
Christmas, now, is a different story. I have every reason to appreciate the Christmas story of Jesus being born into the world and enjoy many of the Christmas carols (Oh Little Town of Bethlehem and O, Holy Night are my two favorites). I do not believe that Jesus was born on December 25 because we do not know that.
Beyond that, though, the holiday gets very mixed up and twisted around. Greed takes over, and the commercialism of the season gets very pathetic. Santa Claus is a very cheerful fellow, but he has little to do with the birth of Jesus, he just happens to be mixed up with the same time of year. Giving gifts is a pleasant thing, but many people do it because they feel they "have to" and may overuse their credit cards. Not so good! And, things get taken to excess. Parties, parties, and more parties. Lots of money gets spent for decorations.
Yes, I feel that Thanksgiving is a pure holiday. I intend to enjoy it to the fullest!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
So, who takes care of the bill-paying in your marriage?
Last week I put out a question to my facebook friends--who takes care of the bill-paying in your marriage? Not who earns the money that pays the bills, but who sits down with the checkbook or at the computer, and does the job?
This was prompted by a comment from Sheila Wyatt, my niece. She is a June bride and made a comment that she was tired of paying bills. I got to thinking--who does this job in most marriages? Obviously, someone has to, so I put out the question.
I got over thirty responses! Oh, I told them, I didn't mean to be nosy and only to reply if they wanted to. Two replies were that the husband and wife shared the responsibility. Of the rest, we had ten husbands and nineteen wives.
So, what does this mean? Probably not much of anything! Most seemed comfortable in how it was set-up to work for them. I was a little surprised to find that there were that many husbands (ten) amongst them. My husband and son Roy were included amongst them--like father, like son? Even though the women outnumbered the men, the task of paying bills is not as gender-specific as I thought it was.
My comment was that I enjoyed the fact that Ken took care of the bill-paying and that meant one less thing that I had to do! But there is more to the story than just that...
In the year prior to our marriage in May, 1971, we were dating, working to save up money for our life together. Ken had arrived home from Viet Nam in April, 1970. I graduated from high school in June and started a job at a bank in St. Marys. Ken worked at Brockway Gulf.
In August on 1970, Ken's dad died of a heart attack and Martha was left a widow. Ken took over paying most of the bills until we got married the next May. (Martha, in her upper 50's, got a job at a dry cleaners where she worked until she could draw retirement)
Ken was used to paying the bills and continued doing that for us in our marriage, and he does it to this day! I think it is a little source of pride for him to do it. I am not ignorant of our finances, though, and we both understand our money matters.
This is what works for us, and I can truthfully say we have had very few problems between us over money.
Another interesting sideline to this: When we were first married, we had decided to raise our family in the traditional way of the man being the bread-winner, and the wife being the homemaker. I worked for a year and a half after we were married (I retired to motherhood at age 20!). Since we wanted to learn to live on what Ken earned, we did not use what I made for living expenses. My salary went for extras--the washer and dryer, later on a freezer (which is still in use at Newry convention--boy, that one was a good one!). We also made payments on the principal of our mortgage with my earnings, which ended up saving us a nice chunk of money in interest over the years.
Years later, I found myself turning a rug-weaving hobby into a business. Once again, that money did not go into the household funds, but went back into the business for supplies and equipment--I eventually acquired a total of six looms! It also bought some sewing machines and sergers along the way. I think some of what I earned helped to build on our addition for a studio (now it is our bedroom) and may have even helped on our new kitchen.
Last winter I worked at H&R Block and made some dollars, too. I also sold out a lot of my weaving stuff. Some of that money went to buy the new bedroom furniture in our downstairs bedroom.
These are just things that worked for us, in our lives and in our time in history. By careful managing, we raised four children on one income. Ken has had good health and a pretty much steady work. I think he has probably gotten about 6 weeks of unemployment. None of our children were interested in going to college after high school, so we did not have the expense of education for them. Three out of the four of them have done a great job in being responsible to get their own education and we are proud of them for that!
Money issues can be a great source of contention in a marriage and can produce a huge power struggle. Hopefully the young ones getting married these days will have the wisdom to choose wisely and make money work FOR their marriage and not against it.
Just my musings...
This was prompted by a comment from Sheila Wyatt, my niece. She is a June bride and made a comment that she was tired of paying bills. I got to thinking--who does this job in most marriages? Obviously, someone has to, so I put out the question.
I got over thirty responses! Oh, I told them, I didn't mean to be nosy and only to reply if they wanted to. Two replies were that the husband and wife shared the responsibility. Of the rest, we had ten husbands and nineteen wives.
So, what does this mean? Probably not much of anything! Most seemed comfortable in how it was set-up to work for them. I was a little surprised to find that there were that many husbands (ten) amongst them. My husband and son Roy were included amongst them--like father, like son? Even though the women outnumbered the men, the task of paying bills is not as gender-specific as I thought it was.
My comment was that I enjoyed the fact that Ken took care of the bill-paying and that meant one less thing that I had to do! But there is more to the story than just that...
In the year prior to our marriage in May, 1971, we were dating, working to save up money for our life together. Ken had arrived home from Viet Nam in April, 1970. I graduated from high school in June and started a job at a bank in St. Marys. Ken worked at Brockway Gulf.
In August on 1970, Ken's dad died of a heart attack and Martha was left a widow. Ken took over paying most of the bills until we got married the next May. (Martha, in her upper 50's, got a job at a dry cleaners where she worked until she could draw retirement)
Ken was used to paying the bills and continued doing that for us in our marriage, and he does it to this day! I think it is a little source of pride for him to do it. I am not ignorant of our finances, though, and we both understand our money matters.
This is what works for us, and I can truthfully say we have had very few problems between us over money.
Another interesting sideline to this: When we were first married, we had decided to raise our family in the traditional way of the man being the bread-winner, and the wife being the homemaker. I worked for a year and a half after we were married (I retired to motherhood at age 20!). Since we wanted to learn to live on what Ken earned, we did not use what I made for living expenses. My salary went for extras--the washer and dryer, later on a freezer (which is still in use at Newry convention--boy, that one was a good one!). We also made payments on the principal of our mortgage with my earnings, which ended up saving us a nice chunk of money in interest over the years.
Years later, I found myself turning a rug-weaving hobby into a business. Once again, that money did not go into the household funds, but went back into the business for supplies and equipment--I eventually acquired a total of six looms! It also bought some sewing machines and sergers along the way. I think some of what I earned helped to build on our addition for a studio (now it is our bedroom) and may have even helped on our new kitchen.
Last winter I worked at H&R Block and made some dollars, too. I also sold out a lot of my weaving stuff. Some of that money went to buy the new bedroom furniture in our downstairs bedroom.
These are just things that worked for us, in our lives and in our time in history. By careful managing, we raised four children on one income. Ken has had good health and a pretty much steady work. I think he has probably gotten about 6 weeks of unemployment. None of our children were interested in going to college after high school, so we did not have the expense of education for them. Three out of the four of them have done a great job in being responsible to get their own education and we are proud of them for that!
Money issues can be a great source of contention in a marriage and can produce a huge power struggle. Hopefully the young ones getting married these days will have the wisdom to choose wisely and make money work FOR their marriage and not against it.
Just my musings...
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